now and then

Twelve years ago today I got married!!
Sometimes it feels so long ago and then sometimes I remember the smallest detail of that day. Like waiting to go down the aisle and my dad and I just looking at each other tears starting to emerge because there is so much joy and some saddness at him loosing his baby. I remember being so nervous I said to Chove and cherish instead of love and cherish!
I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the amount of love that surrounded us, I remember being exhausted and just wanting to sleep for days!
Such a great day!
What I find most amazing is that 12 years later I am even more happy than I was on that day. I know it sounds cheesy but it is so true how marriage gets better with each year, I think because we start to be less selfish, we grow so much over each year, we start to figure life out. We start to pay attention to the details.
And am I the only one who thinks Dan has gotten so much hotter than when we got married??! He looks so great in the recent picture!
Anyway Happy Anniversary Dan, you make everyday even better than the last, I am so thankful we get to live this life together.

Rodeo

You might be wondering why I am talking about the Rodeo when it happened back in May! But I wanted to put pictures up and we had so much fun!
Dan was out of town, but I took Zeke and Sofia and joined our friends for a buckin good time!
I think in a couple of years the kids will love it even more!
Zeke enjoyed watching the guys ride for the 8 seconds,
but then he and Caleb would get side tracked by the lure of the bleachers. You know how much fun it is to climb up and down, to throw things under them, to spit out water down below, much more exciting than the rodeo!
Sofia just devoured kettle corn and cotton candy the whole time, she loves horses so of course she loved watching the girls standing up riding with sparkly shirts!!
Fun was had by all!!
The rodeo is one of the many things I love about Redding. I love the way all of Redding comes out for things like the rodeo, pancake breakfast, cool April nights, 4th of July. It is the whole community, I love it!

catch up

My life is all about catching up lately! It seems like I am always behind on something! Housework, Laundry, bills etc! And so it is with blogs as well, so this one is a catch up on the Lances.
Where to start, life has been so busy the last few months. Dan is booked with things going on, building stuff, staff stuff, life in general is busy and full. He is tired but doing good, ready for a vacation!
I have also been full and busy, we had our women's retreat, family visiting two weekends in a row, then I got picked for a trial and had jury duty. I am also ready for a vacation! I also decided to go blond, just for the heck of it. Here's the picture mom, I know you will love it!! :)
We had my parents visit and bring my grandparents who live in Indiana! So fun to have them see our life here in Redding, we had an awesome time with them!
The kids are doing awesome, so full of energy and life, never a dull moment. Zeke is all about planes and cars right now, he is constantly taking things apart and building new with all the parts he comes up with. Today I was cleaning Sofia and Zeke's room and behind his bed was a whole pile of broken car parts, wood, sofia's hair clips that he took apart and used the clips to hold things together. It was amazing. And this happens every time I clean their room!! He loves to figure out how things work then build his own version. We are constantly amazed by his mind!
Sofia our little sweet girl. She is all about dressing up and dancing around the house in her crowns and heels. She loves to be delighted in and loves to perform for us. She is really progressing with her speech, we are so proud of her and have seen some real improvement lately! She also loves reading to Scarlet when she will pay attention!
Moses, our little love. He is such a sweet boy, loves being held and cuddled! He is all about hats and dressing up as well. Probably because that is all Sofia does, Moses wants to join in as well. It cracks me up he is always wearing something on his head! He is talking so much it is amazing. He will repeat anything and everything we say, so it keeps me on my toes! He is saying 4 and 5 word sentences right now and it is crazy to see our little baby saying so much.
All in all we are doing great, life is full and we are thankful for this season even though it is hard and tiring. We have a trip planned down to Riverside and the beach soon, so we are so excited that some rest is in sight!!

Winter

When I drove Zeke to school today it said it was 24 degrees out!! I wish it was supposed to rain this week instead of next week! We would actually have snow and it might stay on the ground for longer than a day! Zeke keeps asking every morning is there snow yet??? Dan always says I couldn't handle the snowy really cold weather and I think he is right, but when the weather is like this I really love it! I love bundling the kids up and having an excuse to walk around my house in my warm cozy robe all day. I love seeing them play all morning in their footie jammies and building forts with cozy blankets. I think it has to do with the season as well, having Christmas music on and making gingerbread houses, cutting down our tree, the anticipation of the advent calendar! Sofia and Moses have been playing with our manger scene daily, I heard Sofia tell Moses, "mo mo dis Baby Hesus"! I love it! Zeke has enough enthusiasm for the whole family. Two weeks before Thanksgiving he was asking when we could decorate the house, put the lights up! Even after we were done he kept asking what else can we decorate now! So much excitement and joy! It is hard not to get excited as well! I love the traditions I get to start with my family. My mom every year would bake a birthday cake for Jesus, it is a beautiful red cake. She still makes it every year. I can't wait for the kids to recognize our traditions and hold them dear as well.

Life Lately

I have to be in honest in saying that lately I am just trying to survive! My days consist of cleaning up everyone elses booty butts (as Zeke likes to call it)!
We are in the midst of potty training Sofia right now and I am not gonna lie, it has been terrible.
We are at the end of week two of cold turkey potty training her. There has been a lot of pee on the floor, daily.
We tried here and there over the past 6 months and I never felt like she was really ready. But 2 weeks ago I was tired of 2 kids in diapers and the cost of diapers! So we went for it. Lets just say I have been elbow deep in (insert expletive here) for these 2 weeks! With Moses in part time cloth diapers I have had my hands in the toilet cleaning panties and cloth diapers way too much!
These past few weeks have been super busy for Dan and most days I feel like I am in a fog. It is so hard not having family in town and there have been many days lately where I just want to go hang out at my parents house, just chat about nothing with them, or drop in at my in laws and know I can put my feet up for an hour.
So I have felt sorry for myself.
But God is so good and he always blows me away with his provision! Our family up here sees a need and they step in and help. I have had four different friends offer to watch my kids and so many more encourage me and support me in my loneliness. I know it is a season of life that will pass way too quickly but man it is hard being at home all day with the kids, just trying to survive the mayhem!
Anyway all this to say we had a victory today with potty training! For the first time we went all day without one accident! Sofia woke up with a dry pull up and got up from her nap with a dry pull up! Maybe just maybe we are getting it!

things I want to do this summer

Some old summer photos ( we didn't take many pics last year!)

First of all I can't believe it is so hot already!! It felt like 80 degrees this morning at 7:30!!
There is so much I want to do this summer, so many projects!! I don't know why I think I will have more time than normal in the summer, I think it will be the opposite with 3 kids home all day!!!
Anywhoo here are some things I want to do and get done:
* My garden!! I was hoping to get dirt and plant today but now it is Monday!
*Clothes line in the back yard, don't know where yet but I've got to get it going soon!
*Hanging shelves in my bedroom
* Art piece I have been working on for a month already!
*Finishing my bedroom, we started this project when my parents came in Feb. and I have had no time to devote to it!
*Finishing my quilt (this could take me forever)
*Being more consistent with cloth diapers
*POTTY TRAINING! (yikes I am so tired of 2 kids in diapers)
*Going to the lake
*Going to the Farmers market
*Going camping!
*Going on vacation with my family to Indiana! (lake house, so fun!)

I think I must still view summer as if I were in school and it is vacation, free time, time to do whatever I want. But really I am 31 now and it is just like the rest of the year, but I am going to act like it is fun free time and hope I do all the things on my list!
Happy Summer!

pictures

These are in no order!
Sofia and I before the baby, even she has changed in 6 weeks!
Zeke hanging out with Papa
Moses and I caught up in the Twilight saga! So addiciting!


My family, Grammy and Grampy with the grandkids



Today I downloaded all the pictures off of Dan's camera and I realized I had not even looked at the pictures from Moses' birth! It has been so crazy these last 6 weeks and life is finally starting to fall into a routine and it was so fun to see pictures I had never knew existed!
So i thought I would share a few with you from the last few weeks!

shout out

Just wanted to give a shout out to all the people who have been bringing us food.
Thank you so much it has been so amazing.
By the end of the day I am wiped out (let's get serious I start the day that way!)
anyway it has been so great not having to think about cooking a meal.
Thank you Stirring family for blessing us.
The food has been yummy!!

strange times

It is so funny how much easier it is to write a nonsense blog rather than write what I am feeling or struggling with.
I could just write how I am sitting here listening to Coldplay's new album, which is amazing by the way (Nate is crazy to say otherwise!). I could write how I am eating egg salad sandwich again for dinner,(pregnancy craving) how much I accomplished today or what the kids did. It is much easier to write those things.
On July 4th I was sitting outside in the smoky weather reading my Bible, writing in my journal trying to hear something from God. The 4th was such a lonely day for me, Zeke was gone so the house was so still and quiet, we had no family or friends to hang out with and I just felt this sadness.
It feels like forever that I have been going through the motions of dailyness.
6 months of being in a funk, being sad and down, feeling lazy and unmotivated. I know it has maybe a little bit to do with the fact that I got pregnant finally after 7 years, moved our whole family and started a new life in a matter of a month. Now there is no family down the street, there are no friends that know you so deeply and live life with you daily anymore. I have to start that all over again and it does not happen very quickly.
I don't want to whine or be a Debbie Downer, but it has been hard.
I hate that when I go into labor I can't call my mom and tell her to come over to watch the kids, or that my kids can't go down the street anymore to their cousins house to play. So many daily things that seem so little but are actually huge to me.
Or maybe they are magnified because I am 8 months pregnant and an emotional wreck 98% of the time!
Anyway I felt like on the 4th God said ask for people to pray, let people know your struggle. Be vulnerable, it's easy right!
So at church Nate gave us the opportunity to pray with the people around us, and Rebecca and Erica prayed for me and it was so comforting to not pretend, but to have others who understood and prayed for me. Thanks girls it meant a lot.
Anyway I am longing to climb out of this funk and i hope it can begin now.
I am so very thankful for where God has us, but that doesn't mean it has been easy or will be easy, we sacrificed a lot to come here and sometimes that sucks. But I do not want my family to be anywhere that God doesn't want us to be.
So that means we keep moving forward, living out what God has called us to.
I hope a year from now I can look back at this time and see all the amazing things that came from the hard times!

Feeling dumb

Sometimes when I read others blogs I feel dumb. For example my wonderful husband Dan, just put up a video up which received many rather long and detailed comments. As I was reading through some I fell asleep. J/K
I didn't but I have to admit that the time it would take me to watch the video, read the comments and then leave one would be entirely too long. In the time it has taken me to write this much, Sofia and Zeke got into a pushing fight, Sofia was carrying around some white out upside, and honking this annoying horn that almost made me lose my mind. How in the world could I form a complete thought that would be smart and witty to add to someones blog!
As I type this Zeke is asking me the same question 100 times, and telling me I hurt his feelings and he never wants to play with me again.
These are my daily conversations, not unfortunately politics and discussions on grace. I probably need to get out more.

Love my man!

I am so lucky to have Dan! Yesterday I was a bit irritable I guess you could say, I was tired and getting annoyed easily with everyone! So last night Dan said why don't you just get out, take a book and go read somewhere ALONE! Of course I took the offer and ran, it had been awhile since I had some alone time. I went to Barnes and Noble and just cruised around and read for awhile.
But the best part was coming home to a totally picked up house, empited dishwasher, and the kids bathed and ready for bed! It was awesome!!!!
How lucky am I to have a husband who knows what I need and then blesses me with time away and a picked up house when I return!
I am so grateful.

Parents visit=extreme homemakeover!

My parents were here this weekend and we had such a great visit. They have always been so amazing at helping us with all the grunt work of any and all homes we have owned. We are renting this home so there is not a lot to fix and work on but we had plenty for them to help us with! They helped us clean out and organize the garage, pull hundreds, no thousands of weeds and spray the back yard with weed killer, they helped us with a landscape plans and are giving us the means to complete it, they took us shopping ALL over town to find new pillows for our couch, they bought us grocerys at Safeway, took us out to eat all weekend, they helped us clean our desk area of junk, and cords. I could go on forever, they brought us bags and bags of food from Trader Joes! I made a list and they bought 4 of everything on the list! My mom made me two kinds of chicken and froze them and brought them in us ziplock bags so we could have pre-made meals!
Dan's parents bought us a dresser from our old church rummage sale and my parents brought it up for us in their car. They spent hours stripping the old crackle paint layers off and painting it for us before they came up.
I feel like I have a whole new clean house!
Besides all of this they got to see our new life up here and just be with the kids, who absolutely adore them. Zeke couldn't get enough wrestle time in with Grampy and Sofia has always loved to snuggle with my mom, she would always just wander over to grammy and climb up in her lap.
We also went to the sundial bridge and just explored and had a picnic lunch.
All in all it was a great visit and I was so sad to see them go.
Thanks mom and Dad for spoiling us, we love you!

it's been awhile

Since we have been misplaced for about a month now it has been really hard for me to blog! We have no routine or sense of normalcy so my time just does not go to bloggin!
Since Dan has been back we have been so busy with sickness and family get togethers and trying to wrap up all the details of life in Riverside. Our Christmas was great, this was the first Christmas where Zeke anticipated the day and what it would bring. Sadly he knew presents were coming and for about a week before he would ask if it was Christmas yet and if Santa was going to bring him a Christmas hummer. And yes Santa brought 2 of them! Anyway our families blessed us so much, and we are grateful for our time with them.
The time is coming closer when we will be leaving for our trek up to Redding and it is starting to set in. I got sad when we were at my parents house during Christmas just realizing I won't see my mom and dad every week and I won't just go hang out at my parents house whenever I want to. My sister and I won't live around the corner from each other anymore & Zeke won't be able to hang out with his cousins ever week. Little things like that are starting to set in and they are things I have not thought about until the past few days.
So it is with mixed emotions that we wait to leave, we are anxious to start new and get into life in Redding but we are so sad to leave our families and friends and a life that has been everything we've known for so so long.
Hope your Christmas was a great time with family! Happy Birthday Jesus!

does zeke need new socks!

Zeke does not have one pair of socks without holes in it! I have been holding out for Christmas stocking stuffers! I know I am cheap, but when I know he will get some soon it is hard to go spend money!
Well today was finally a good day! We had an awful day yesterday and I didn't know if I was going to make it the whole 16 days without Dan, but today Zeke had a much better day. We are working so hard on obedience and speaking kindly to one another. He just struggles so much with things changing and Daddy not being here. The thing I need the most with him is patience and that is what I am lacking in the most! I am so grateful for family, they are so encouraging and positive. Thank goodness because I need it right now. Thanks mom and Dad for letting us take over your house, leave messes, be way too noisy, and eat all your food. It feels really nice to be home with my family during this season. Now I just need Dan here!

redding trip

The last few days were spent in Redding looking for a place for us to live when we move. It was such an awesome trip, God provided for us in so many ways! The first day we went to two place and the second one was love at first sight! We had heard about this town home and I had high hopes for it and it far exceded what I expected! It is so beautiful and we are getting an amazing deal from a guy that Nate knows from Risen King ( the church we went to while living in Redding). We are so grateful, we feel like it is the perfect fit for our family. THe pre-school we want Zeke to go to was so great, they were so friendly and willing to work with us financially, which was a huge concern for us!
A few days before we left I hurt my neck really badly and sleeping on the hotel pillow made it 100 times worse. I woke up Thursday morning and literally could not get out of bed. Nate called a friend from the Stirring who is a Chiropractor and he got us in right away. HE took x -rays, adjusted me and did not charge us. Today my neck is fianlly moving and the inflmation is going down. It was just amazing how everyone took care of us and was so willing to help meet our needs.
It was exciting driving around planning for our family but also felt lonely and overwhelming. I know God is calling us to go to Redding and that is a comfort to know we are doing what he asks. But that doesn't make it easy to leave. I need to start packing my house up and that freaks me out.
Thansk for praying for us as we were in Redding, God overwhelmed us with his provision for us.

sweet time with my little man

Lately Zeke has been having a hard time, we attribute it to us moving. IF you don't know we are moving to Redding CA in January. We are excited, sad, stressed, anxious and more. We told Zeke about a month ago and he was actually really excited, he wanted to know if we would drive on the 60 freeway to get there! And he wanted to know if he would be close to Ava and aidia, NAte and erica and Trisha. He knows they live there and I think it helped to have familiar friends already there. But in this last month we have had many, many many ups and downs and I think he grasps small pieces of our life changing.
But yesterday and today we had two distinct moments together that I loved. Yesterday we were at his nana and papa's waiting for Sofia to wake up from a morning nap and it was just he and I. We layed on the couch together facing each other and just talked for like 10 minutes. We talked about school, and dressing up for Halloween, how the colors of our eyes were different and he said mine were green and orange and brown so so pretty. THen a minute later he asked if my teeth were gray! You gotta love the honesty of kids, Dan says it is just because in the Lorax they talk about the Onclers teeth being gray. I am going to go with!
THen today he crawled into bed with me and whispered "mama it's your birthday today you are 30 years old" It was so sweet and he just layed beside me and asked me how I slept and if I was doing ok, it was so so sweet and I cherish these times that seem so few lately. It makes me tired and sad to think about the months ahead and how hard they might be for him, he is so sweet and sensative I am just praying for a smooth transition for him!

family pics

Today we went to the botanical gardens to take family photos with the Lance family. Dan's parents and Mike & Becky. Of course we pick a day when they are having a sale at the botanicals gardens, so there is no parking and like 50 people lined up waiting to get in. The morning went not as planned so when we got there I was a little stressed. We needed to leave at 8:40am and I was up at 6:45 feeding Sofia, so you would think 2 hours would be plenty of time to get a family of 4 ready, not true. In our case anyway, there were a few tantrums, poopy diapers, can't find my shoes etc. My favorite was Zeke in the bathroom crying just because, we asked him to go potty so we could go he says in a whiny crying voice, "mama I can't I am far too busy to go potty!" Wow and so the whole first 20 minutes of our hike through the botanical gardens was on eggshells as to not disturb the monster that was lurking inside Zeke.
The pictures actually went great once we got warmed up, Jon and Kathy took the pics, Jon took them Kat was the assistant. Thanks guys!
I am looking forward to seeing the finished product especially the ones where Mike and Becky were climbing in the tree, there were some interesting situations in getting up to the limbs!

The gray pride parade

So Dan and I looked at each other this morning and cracked up because we were both wearing all gray! Dan is always wearing these gray basketball shorts and I love my gray sweats, but we didn't intend to match it with gray shirts! I have to give props to Dan because he came up with the title, he is so funny! Anyway we had a little photo shoot to try to capture our hip outfits and we fell a few times and the first pic looks as if I am holding him, I am not.
While at home comfort is our name hopefully we won't ever think it is ok to head out of the house in these cool threads! Whats funny is I just looked at Zeke and he is wearing dark gray pajamas with guitars all over them, I guess it is a family thing, I am sure people are always commenting on how stylish those Lances are!

Lazy Saturday

I love days when you have nothing planned, it seems in this crazy life those days are few, but this year we have really tried to keep a sabbath as many of you know from Dan's weekly update! So I won't spoil all the exciting things we did. But it was so nice because I kind of got to sleep in today! At least I was in bed until 8am!!!! I was not sleeping because the kids (Zeke) is very loud, but at least I was warm and snuggly in bed! Then we drank coffee, wrestled, built forts and just hung out together. Sofia had her morning nap and Dan suggested we watch a fun movie with Zeke. For your information the only movie Zeke likes is Cars. So we said any movie except that one, he chose Beauty and the Beast, I love this movie! It was my favorite movie in 6th grade and I know all the songs, Dan loved this since of course I sang along! Zeke actually enjoyed it until the end when he thought the Beast was dead and he started getting the quivering lip and began to cry a little, it was so sweet and I just held him and told him that the spell was broken and the beast is ok! Sorry if you have not seen it and I ruined it for you! Anyway it was so nice to relax. Then we began going through Zeke's old clothes because we know two people who are having boys in a couple of months and we wanted to hand them Zeke's clothes. This was so sad for me, looking through Zeke's tiny preemie outfits and blankets, made me miss those crazy exhausting times! Anyway it was good but so emotional for me. We figured people gave us so much when he was a baby we should pass on the love. I kept about three little outfits just to have, I feel good about the process. Dan is always wanting to clean sweep me and my things, and we often go toe to toe on quite a few things. But this was a good thing and I am so pleased to help someone else because lets face it, kids clothes are expensive! So this was our non planned Saturday, yay for time at home together!