Is it nap time yet?????

So tired today.
We went to take the dog to the groomers and Target and I was dragging myself through Target, both kids crabby and crying. I kind of wanted to just find a chair and sit down for awhile, hoping when I returned the kids would be done whining and crying. Of course I did not do this but man my energy is low today.
We made it home and I am being #1 mom by putting on a little Einstein video so that I can sit on the couch for 20 minutes and not have to think for these few precious minutes! I really have felt so good through this whole pregnancy, which I am SO thankful for. But man if I am going to have 2 weeks of this my kids are going to be very unhappy! Zeke's like let's go to the park, let's go swimming, let's take a walk again, let's go to gymnastics! I 'm like let's take a family nap!!
He is used to getting out and doing something everyday!
That is all really, just tired today.

The picture is for all my Riverside friends who wanted to see how huge I am, there are very few clothes still fitting me, every once in awhile I sport the ghetto belly hanging out of the bottom of my shirts! Good times!

The moby Wrap

So as I await the arrival of Moses one of the things I am working on is making a Moby Wrap. I am a lover of slings for my babies. Each one I have tried a different sling and I absolutely love carrying my babies around close to me. With Zeke my dear friend Jess told me about over the shoulder baby holders, which at the time was one of the only slings out there. Funny what has changed in 5 years, now there are like 50 different types of slings, which is great! Anyway Zeke did SO well in a sling, he was a preemie so he needed extra time to adjust to this crazy world, and I think being bundled up tight and close to us was so good for him. He was a colicky, crying baby and when he was in the sling life was good!
Sofia got jipped out of time in the sling since we didn't get her until she was 6 months, but that didn't stop me from using the sling all the time as soon as we got her from the orphanage! My friends went in together and got me a sloomb, which is like the sling I had for Zeke but cuter fabric! It is an easy one to wear your kid on your hip too. Which if I was not pregnant I would still do, I did it until my belly got in the way.
So tonight I worked on my Moby wrap, which you can easily buy online, but I opted to buy fabric and cut the dimensions. Jess constantly wore her daughter in it, and when we moved up to Redding Leah Caldwell had made herself one and was loving it, so I thought sure I will do that too!
But let me just say it is annoying laying that much fabric out to cut the dimensions!!
But I finished it and it is cute, I tried it out and it was not looking quite like the picture online, then I realized oh yeah, I still have this huge belly, maybe it will fit better when the baby is here!!
Anyway it made me excited to finally have him here and hold him!!
Hopefully it is soon!!!

What a year

In the orphanage

At home this week


My friend Kara left me a message the other day saying can you believe it was a year ago that we got our daughters! Her and her husband Wei were in Kyrgyzstan the same time as we were adopting their little girl. They were not with our agency or anything we just saw them at the orphange and we connected, obviously, we were going through craziness together!
I was just thinking about the things Sofia has been through, seen and done in her little life already! She lived in an orphanage for the first 6 months of her life, traveled across the whole world to a new family, moved to a new home after 6 more months, and now she is getting a baby brother! So much in a year and she is so easy going and sweet!
When I think back to a year ago the stress and anxiety of bringing her home is hardly memorable. I remember thinking if we can just make it home I will be able to breathe again! Those 10 days trying to bring her home were absolutely the most stressful days of my life. It felt like everything that could go wrong did, and I was just so worried we would not make it out of there with our daughter! One of the days that papers were missing, out hotel reservation was lost and it was 2am and I was crying in this scary motel room with no a/c and it was 90 degrees outside, Dan said you know we didn't sign up for some easy trip to pick her up, we knew it would be hard. It was so true, I just needed to be reminded that adoption is not an easy road, but God was so faithful in providing everything we needed, often at the very last second!
I just love the way God has put our family together, none of it has been easy, but all of it has been so worth it and I am so grateful to have our little Sofia. To look at then and now and see how much she has changed and grown in amazing to me!

Backfire

I bribed Zeke today and it has majorly backfired on me.
His fingernails and toenails were ridiculously long, they were like some of my girlfriends who grow their toenails long and paint them, they were freaking me out!
So I said I would put batteries in this hummer of his if he let me cut them!
I have been trying to cut them for the last 2 days and this bribe seemed like a good idea at the time.
So we got the nails cut but there was a very good reason why I had never before replaced these batteries!
It is a fire hummer and when you put new batteries in not only do lights flash (if only that were all!), but also this lady yells out All unites code 469, Avenue 63, then the siren goes off for like 10 seconds. And a guy yells back were on our way!!! Then the siren again!!!
And it is LOUD, and in the last 20 minutes I have heard that over and over again at least 100 times.
What was I thinking, that is what I get for bribing my kids!

my crazy week, so far...

This week has been anything but uneventful!
I think "oh Zeke is gone, it will be quiet", which it was in the noise sense, but otherwise it has been crazy.
We put our name in on a list for some apartments that usually take 6 months to a year, and not even a week later we get a call that one is available to us. We get all our paper work etc. in, it looks great and we start to freak out about moving. (at least I freaked out)
Then Monday evening I got really sick, I think I did it to myself. I drank some sweet tea from McDonald's that I am sure has 1 gallon of sugar in it! I did water it down, but when you also eat almost a half of a watermelon by yourself it is a bad combo.
So I was up all night cursing the indigestion and stomach ache that was haunting me.
All day Tuesday I felt horrible, thank you McDonalds.
Tuesday evening I had a bit of a break down, anxiety and stress over moving, missing my son, missing my family etc etc. Had a good cry, felt better.
Wednesday Dan and I sit down go over the pros and cons of moving, we come to the conclusion it is totally worth it to move, the money we will save alone is great! We feel good about the decision and start going through things in house doing a clean sweep.
Thursday I pack a few boxes not much, but continue to go through the house down sizing.
Thursday night we get home from our staff BBq and I am walking out the front door to take Scarlet for a potty trip and I bite it hard. I guess I tripped I don't know, I slid across the pavement on my side. I at least had a little bit of time to turn on my side and not fall on my stomach! Luckily Dan was there and he is so great under stress. I was starting to freak out and he is like your fine, you were close to the ground, you didn't fall too hard, everything is totally fine. I have a few scrapes up my arms, legs and booty but all in all I am ok. Moses was moving right after so that made me feel so much better.
Friday today, Dan gets a call that we did not get the apartment. He was so bummed, as was I. It is hard when you start planning and getting ready for something and then things change. So I guess God wants us to stay where we are for now and be content in that.
Needless to say this week has not been low on stress, anxiety or action.
I think I might take a nap today!

strange times

It is so funny how much easier it is to write a nonsense blog rather than write what I am feeling or struggling with.
I could just write how I am sitting here listening to Coldplay's new album, which is amazing by the way (Nate is crazy to say otherwise!). I could write how I am eating egg salad sandwich again for dinner,(pregnancy craving) how much I accomplished today or what the kids did. It is much easier to write those things.
On July 4th I was sitting outside in the smoky weather reading my Bible, writing in my journal trying to hear something from God. The 4th was such a lonely day for me, Zeke was gone so the house was so still and quiet, we had no family or friends to hang out with and I just felt this sadness.
It feels like forever that I have been going through the motions of dailyness.
6 months of being in a funk, being sad and down, feeling lazy and unmotivated. I know it has maybe a little bit to do with the fact that I got pregnant finally after 7 years, moved our whole family and started a new life in a matter of a month. Now there is no family down the street, there are no friends that know you so deeply and live life with you daily anymore. I have to start that all over again and it does not happen very quickly.
I don't want to whine or be a Debbie Downer, but it has been hard.
I hate that when I go into labor I can't call my mom and tell her to come over to watch the kids, or that my kids can't go down the street anymore to their cousins house to play. So many daily things that seem so little but are actually huge to me.
Or maybe they are magnified because I am 8 months pregnant and an emotional wreck 98% of the time!
Anyway I felt like on the 4th God said ask for people to pray, let people know your struggle. Be vulnerable, it's easy right!
So at church Nate gave us the opportunity to pray with the people around us, and Rebecca and Erica prayed for me and it was so comforting to not pretend, but to have others who understood and prayed for me. Thanks girls it meant a lot.
Anyway I am longing to climb out of this funk and i hope it can begin now.
I am so very thankful for where God has us, but that doesn't mean it has been easy or will be easy, we sacrificed a lot to come here and sometimes that sucks. But I do not want my family to be anywhere that God doesn't want us to be.
So that means we keep moving forward, living out what God has called us to.
I hope a year from now I can look back at this time and see all the amazing things that came from the hard times!

why is it so quiet around here?

So Zeke left today for over a week! Dan's mom took him down to hang out with friends and family in So cal. He was excited up until this morning when it was time to go. then he said nope I am not going, I am staying here! He calmed down and was excited again 2 minutes later!
He has only been gone a few hours and it is already so weird.
He has more energy than anyone I know so the house is so quiet and still.
Sofia and Scarlet are going to be so bored.
They won't have to watch their backs constantly to make sure Zeke is not going to wrestle them to the ground!
We had a family nap time this morning, it was great. Sofia still takes morning naps and we got up early to get nana and Zeke to the airport so of course Dan and I took advantage and took a little snooze.
This week should be a good opportunity to get things ready for the baby, I have so much to do! One less kid and more nap time should allow me to get things done!
Or maybe the quiet will make me lazy and want to sleep all the time!