I am trying really hard to overcome my slight problem with being obsessive. THis time of year is really hard on me for some reason, It is when everyone is getting sick and passing around germs. Right now Dan has some weird stomach thing, Sofia and Moses have green boogers running down their faces and the beginnings of a cough.
Now the common cold does not freak me out, but when it comes to the stomach flu I majorly freak out!!!
I start to have anxiety attacks thinking about the kids getting sick to their stomach and throwing up, I freak out at the thought of me getting sick. I start to ask myself a million questions like
What if Dan and I are both sick at the same time, who will take care of the kids?
How will I feed Moses if I have some crazy flu!
What is Moses gets it and he is throwing up he is so little, what if he won't nurse and he gets dehydrated?
The list goes on until I literally give myself a stomach ache and my chest is tight.
I know crazy right.
I hate that I get this way, and the whole time I am telling myself God is in control you can't change this.
Although I try by washing my hands until they are really dry and I tell Zeke to count to 15 while he washes his hands and he says stop telling me that mama. And I spray lysol all over the bathroom!
I think it feels more heightened right now because I have not slept for 4 nights in a row, mo can't breathe at night so he is crying every hour.
I am reading Matthew 6 in an effort to talk myself down from crazy town.
Thank goodness for Dan who always brings me back to reality. I can pray, and do my best to keep the freak out to a minimum!
Matthew 6 :32
Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the kingdom of God your primary concern.
6 comments:
i totally can relate. i will be praying for you! miss you.
Instead of counting while washing his hands, have Zeke sing something. ABCs, Happy Birthday, Twinkle Twinkle... it accomplished the same thing, but it's not so dull. Or take stuff he's learning in school -- like spelling words or math concepts -- and set it to familiar music, so he can wash for the right length of time, and practice at the same time.
Oh Alyssa, I will totally be praying for you! And for your kids to get/stay healthy! Remember that I said I could babysit for you guys ANYTIME you need it... even if this means you get a nap for a few hours. Seriously, I would love to help out in that way, so take me up on it!!! And don't worry, you are not alone in your OCD-ness when it comes to germs. I wash my hands about 675 times an hour... I can relate!!!!
I completely understand. I just found out there is some sort of bactrial staph going around my classroom. I ordered a deep cleaning by the janitor, have my kids wash their hands constantly, and I wipe everything with Clorox every time the students leave the room. My hands are all chapped and dry, but at least I'm not sick!
Cut yourself some slack, mama. You're not crazy, just "highly concerned." Miss you!
I JUST asked Trav if he ever thought I was OCD (to which he dutifully replied "no") and then I read your post! Maybe it's NOT our kids that have issues but really its US, I can't even think about that right now.
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